An International Fellowship of Spirit-Empowered Believers

Ministry dreams?

I am a CLU student and working towards a degree in Ministry. I would like some help in interpreting my dreams I've had over the last couple of weeks. The first one I was in a large building, preparing for a big event. I believe it was a church. I ask a lady if I could help clean the mirrors that were displayed on a wall. They were like a mural. I wanted to clean the back of them but the lady said not to worry about that. People were starting to come in, walking up some stairs to where we were. I then started to panic. I was then inside a room and people were filling up a baby bath tub for me. I was telling them not to fill it too much. I was going to play a part as a mermaid. I was wearing a blue gown which resembled my 8 year old daughter's dress she wore at my wedding as my flower girl.

2nd dream. I was carrying a box and inside were a gift I was to give to some adults. I complained that I didn't think the gift was appropriate for the because it was a child's toy of some kind. There was also a blue sweater inside the box that apparently belonged to me. Then I noticed the strange child's toy that was in my dream was actually a Christmas decoration hanging on the Christmas tree at the Long-Term Care Facility I have started to help minister to in real life.

God spoke to me about a week ago while I was driving. He told me about me being His minister/pastor and I was so overwhelmed that I started to cry to the point I almost needed to pull over. I felt that I wasn't worthy enough to do this task for Him but then I remembered when the angel told Mary about her carrying the Messiah, Jesus. How she felt and how she humbly said, May your will be done.This is how I felt. Like Mary but I said, I would be honored to and Thank God for this job.

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Permalink Reply by Louise McNeil on January 17, 2012 at 4:02pm

Hello Laurie,

It is wonderful that the Lord has called you. It must have been quite an experience.

Your dreams reveal the same as your statement “I felt that I wasn't worthy enough to do this task for Him”.. The desire to have the back of the mirrors cleaned shows that you are aware that some inner healing (cleaning) still needs to take place. A mirror represents self image. A mural can represent a short epic piece of your life/past. Does that lady telling you not to worry about it resemble someone you know? It may shed more light if you would describe her.

You were upstairs, and this is a good place to be. People arrived and were filling a baby bathtub for you. A tub is a place of “cleansing” (second indicator of the need for cleansing/healing/cleaning) and you were going to play the part of a mermaid. A mermaid is symbolic of one who is half spiritual (the fish half) and who is half earthly (human part). This is how you see yourself, or how you think others perceive you (since you were playing that role for other people). You were telling them not to fill it too much. It would help if you could tell me what were you thinking within the dream when you said it?

The blue dress was your daughter’s that was worn at your wedding (day of commitment and life change). This shows that you don’t feel mature enough to minister…yet. Blue can symbolize the heavenly, but can also can symbolize the need for healing……..and now you have three symbols pointing towards cleansing/healing. So, you sense your own immaturity and the need for healing to take place before you will “feel” ready to enter the ministry.

The second dream repeats the same symbolisms. You are going to present a gift (to adults) that is, in your words, "inappropriate" because it is a "child’s toy" (another sign of your awareness of your immaturity). This toy turned out to be a Christmas decoration that could be found at the place you are already ministering in. This connects the toy and baby bath (immaturity) to your blue sweater and blue dress (need for inner healing) and your ministry (the Care Facility, dress being from your wedding, and the Christ centered symbol of a Christmas decoration/ornament that hangs on a tree/cross). Both dreams tie in together very neatly.

We all have doubts and feeling of inadequacy, they just aren’t as shared with others. I would be very concerned if you thought you were fully ready while still in school and not many years of ministry behind you. Your subconscious concerns do not dilute your calling, nor does it by any means disqualify you for the ministry. You have been chosen, and when God calls, He fulfills it. You will mature in time and along the way, just like we mature while growing up…...one step at a time. The lady in your first dream said “don’t worry about it”. But, I would say that there is a need for some level of inner healing that must be addressed so that you will feel right about yourself and your calling. God is good and He prepares us along the way. The Word says that you will never be fully perfect/complete until you arrive in heaven. I am happy that He has called you and am sure that you will be a blessing to others.

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Permalink Reply by laurie leiding on January 17, 2012 at 4:37pm

Thanks for your interpretation Louise! Yes, I agree that there is still some inner healing needed to be done in me. The big one is Fear of people which has the clusters of rejection, intimidation, inferior, anxiety, etc. God and I have been working on this together. I have taken the prayers that heal the heart course and Counseled By God and this is something I worked in for inner healing of myself. However, I still struggle with it and that's why I say, I don't have what it takes to Minister God's people right now.

I felt like I just needed a little bit of water just to cover my legs. I don't know who the lady was in the dream that told me not to worry about cleaning the back of the mirrors. She seemed relaxed and confident with everything being done in preparation for the event.

I have had 3 more dreams on this big event. One of the dreams was a New Year's celebration I was getting ready for. I didn't have enough time to buy something nice to wear for it. I scrambled to find something from my sister's closet and then mine. However, I decided to just wear what I had on which was the blue sweater and black pants.

The second dream was a graduation my husband and i were attending. It was an early graduation in the spring time. We were going towards some stairs and in front of us was a friend ours and one of the deacons at our church here in Princeton. He was wearing a baby girl's dress with a diaper on. I thought it was quite funny. However, it had something to do with the graduation.

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Permalink Reply by Louise McNeil on January 17, 2012 at 5:05pm

You said” I just needed a little bit to cover my legs”. This shows that you are ok with who you are, you just need a little bit of wate r(cleansing) for your legs (your walk).
The dream where you were looking for something to wear is you searching for an alternate identity (clothing directly points to image/identity). The good news is that you chose to be yourself (wear the same outfit you already had on).
The next dream, you see a deacon (he represents one called of God) that is willing to be "vulnerable" enough to put on a baby outfit for the sake of the graduation ceremony (others that have been taught and are ready to go and grow more). This is a good message for you.
There is a root cause for your fear of others rejection, intimidation, and anxiety. Sometimes we can study our hearts out about the subject of inner healing, without ever attaining it. What we have to do is take some real time out and prayerfully close your eyes, then ask God to take you back into the past and show you when that started and how. Ask Him to” be there” with you at the different events that He will show you. Just sit with Him in that moment and see what He has to say about what is happening, and why you were treated this way. Then ask Him to heal that hurt you are feeling there. There is a very good speech about this subject at http://karolynmerriman.com/2012/01/12/1-12-2012-the-healing-process... This woman is a licensed Christian therapist. This particular piece is called "The healing process for emotional wounds".

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Permalink Reply by laurie leiding on January 17, 2012 at 6:25pm

You were sent from God to help me heal in this area! You truly were

While i was listening to Karolyn Merriman's who in the healing process, what came to my memory was the group of girls that bullied me throughout my school years. It started in Elementary through to High School. Most of these girls were a couple years old than me. I looked back at how i felt and it hurt deeply and I recall hiding behind others or taking different roots to and from school to avoid running into them. Today I find I still hide behind people and feel safer when I'm with my husband, daughters, etc.

I have asked our Father to forgive me for carrying this for so long. I have forgiven them and I know that if they knew how that emotional abuse had affected me throughout my life, and was shown this at the time, they would have been different towards me. I honestly didn't even realize that this was a huge things in my heart. I bawled and bawled. I have asked the Holy Spirit to remove these demons and to fill those rooms up that the demons were residing in. I also asked the Holy Spirit to bring back to me what was taken from me so long ago. This has been a pattern. My father and ex-husband were also emotionally abusive as well as teachers, etc. I have dealt with these issues before and know I am healed from the people i've listed. Now I can allow the rest of the healing to begin from the bullying/abuse I received from those girls. Thank you Louise so very much! May God continue to use you in dream interpretation and inner healing.

Laurie

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Permalink Reply by Louise McNeil on January 17, 2012 at 8:05pm

You are welcome. My heart rejoices with you. Glory to God.

Thank you Jesus for helping Laurie today out of your compassionate love and approval of her... Father I ask that you continue to bring honor, healing, and inner peace back to her. I thank you that you will take what was meant for her harm, and will transform it into a sweet sensitivity towards others heartbreaks as she serves them. Bless her with a confident and open heart. Thank you Father. Amen.

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Permalink Reply by laurie leiding on January 18, 2012 at 10:31am

Louise I just wanted to let you know what I did this morning. First of all, I had a dream that I was friends with one of the girls that bullied me in school. We were a part of something together. Don't remember what. I woke up and journaled to God about this dream. He said to love them. To shower them with love. I found one of them on facebook and invited her to be a friend. This was so hard for me to do. I felt my heart wanting to come out of my chest. I prayed that this wouldn't be damaging to me. God said, it was so long ago and to trust Him. His ways are higher than my ways. I then remember watching a testimony on the 700 Club where a man was sexually bullied as a child by a group of boys. He became a Christian in his adult life and felt that he needed to contact them to forgive them. He did find them and all of the boys that had bullied him. They all had become Christians as well and asked for his forgiveness. I feel that this is definately a healing for me. The door has closed to this past hurt and a new door has opened, a door of healing and a fresh start on my journey. Wow! I am so blessed!

Blessings to you Louise!

Laurie