Reflecting with Jesus

Lord, Yesterday I had a period when I felt a failure, down, low and full of doubt and it was based on circumstance. I don't even think I have that right as a Minister for you; not after the things I have said and written in 2009. You said 'write it and speak it,' so I did.

'I am not so interested in what you feel as what you are. You picked yourself up and you went to the midnight prayer and you did all you could. I had a moment when I cried out that my Father had forsaken me. I had that moment to show you in your moments you could get through.

I guess, Lord, really, like Peter, it was a 'boat moment.' I was sinking.

'Did you drown?'

'Well, no. I got all that stuff into my spirit about praising you and I said to myself I could not say all that stuff to others without actually doing it myself.'

'Did we get to the overnight prayer to praise in the New Year together?'

'Yes, Lord we did.'

And?

'Well Lord, there was that amazing moment...I saw it! Me resting on you and you resting on your Father's breast and how the breath of the Father into your ear and then into mine meant that Holy Spirit could speak with power in 2010 as long as I keep leaning on your breast so you can put words into my ear.'

And?

'Well Lord it was about the Power within us again, wasn't it? I have so much power in me when I am in you. I can't fail to talk the words you want me to say if I lean right in and in that leaning Lord, I know I can feel the Father's Love. I can speak with authority about it because I am in it. My words in 2010 are going to carry power. I can feel it."

'That is humility.'

'Humility?'

It is always humility when you forget about you and lean into me. You are so safe there in my arms and as you rest like a little child you become the King's voice. You are Royal and speak as me, the King. You see because I see what the Father is doing. Just do what I see and your anointing this year is going to grow.'

'All this, Lord from my failure to be obedient in praise in a difficult situation?

'That is discipline.'

'Discipline?'

'Yes. I taught you there was a better way. You felt awful with your eyes off of me didn't you? Yet, when you put your eyes onto me you felt so different. You are positive now, even if you don't know how the impossible situation you have at this time will change. That is how I am dealing with your emotions. Praise me, even in adversity and you will feel better. Fail to do so and you will not. It is like Pavlov's dogs. I am training you. Did you notice how your time of being low is shorter now because you remember Praise sooner?'

'That is you Lord, because I know what I can be. Oh! NO not that way of thinking - the old lacking in confidence and self esteem and self doubt. I can't do that any more. I am yours, your child and even thinking about how I once thought unless to encourage others is like saying I forgot the new creation you made me. I have been taken from a low place to the mountain top and I am looking at the view. Thank You.'